Monday, February 6, 2012

I'm An Internet Writer? When The Hell Did That Happen?

So, a lot of you that are reading this were probably linked here from one of my recent Cracked articles. If that's the case, thanks. You didn't have to take the time to do that. That's really sweet, and I didn't get you anything in return. You should've told me sooner.

To be honest, when I pitched my first article to Cracked about a year ago, I never thought it had a chance-- and I was right. That article idea was terrible and it wasn't anywhere near the sort of thing that Cracked runs. But what I didn't expect was to learn enough through the mountain of failed pitches that followed to actually get one through.A literal mountain. Some evil guy forged a ring there. And it's a problem.

And my second article is on the front page today (co-authored by my friend Karl Smallwood, check out his blog "Internet Adventures" on the right) so it seems that I'm a comedy writer on the internet all of a sudden. And I still don't know how it happened so fast. One day, I was an aspiring writer with nothing in my portfolio and zero publications. Now, I've got two articles on the most popular comedy website on the internet. Holy crap!

Don't get me wrong, if I were to attempt to live solely off of my writing, I'd have to adapt to a different lifestyle:

Namely the "this is my house" lifestyle.

But it's a start. Before I wrote anything for Cracked, being a published author was only a fantasy; something to be yearned for but probably never attained. Now I've actually got some publications to my name and some clout to throw around when I pitch ideas to new places.

And let's be honest here, two million page views on a prolific comedy site is certainly better than a notebook filled with novel ideas that I read aloud to my cat. But at least she doesn't judge.... much. 

Don't talk to me until you improve that characterization.

So, I'm going to wrap up this short, less funny than usual blog post (expect a normal post later tonight) with some advice. It doesn't matter how big and out of reach your dreams may seem, never give up. You never know when you're going to have that first, little bit of success that sets everything into motion.


  1. Congratulations on the Cracked article. Keep on moving ahead, man.

    Next step: full time columnist.

  2. Loved your article dude!

    Looking forward to more of your stuff!

  3. How inspiring and just the motivation I needed as an aspiring writer.
    Tell us: What new opportunities or doors have opened as a result of your Cracked publication? What's next?

  4. Hey! Would you say that you're failed pitches and time working on Cracked stuff improved your writing? I'm sort of in the same boat you've been in. Lots of novel ideas (one that I'm working on, actually) and a blog that you could say is sort of like yours, but I find my writing to be lacking in quality. I've been reading Cracked religiously for a year and a half, and am just now seriously considering pitching stuff. My question is, was your writing this crisp and tightly formed a year ago?