Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Let's Get Serious: A Batmanabonanza

Okay everyone, I'd like to talk to you all about a very serious subject for a change: Batman.

So, before you all ask "why so serious?" and lapse into a giggle fit about how clever you are, let me remind you that the third installment in Christopher Nolan's beautifully dark Batman series is coming out very, very soon. And that shit is serious.

I know what you're all wondering, because as an avid fan of all things Batman, I'm wondering it myself: How is this series going to end? Or even more importantly, how in the hell is Anne Hathaway going to play a convincing Catwoman?

Look at your future Catwoman. Look her in the eyes and despair.

There are a million questions that The Dark Knight Rises  is going to have to answer. Chief among them: What is going to happen to Bruce Wayne? Does he keep on being Batman? And when the hell is Alfred going to be institutionalized?

"We burned the forest down." ~ No sane person, ever.

I'm sure that whatever Nolan churns out will be fantastic, but there's a way that I want the series to end. A way that I would end it if I were writing it. It's also a way that definitely won't happen, because Chris Nolan said so.

You see, in the first movie, we got the origin story. The start of Batman. Then, in The Dark Knight, we saw him falter and question if being Batman was really doing the right thing, and at the end, he regains confidence in himself and his actions. In the third movie, I think we should see the end of Batman. 

And there's only one character from the Batman universe that can do that:

That's right. Robin. I said it.

Think about it for a second. You could even keep Bane as the main villain. In the comics, Bane was the first villain to ever seriously injure Batman (by breaking his back). What if Batman and Bane fight at the very beginning of the movie, and Bane seriously injures Batman, who needs to take serious time to recuperate. 

This would shake his faith in himself a bit. I mean, he's Batman. He doesn't get hurt. But more importantly, it would make him realize that his body physically will not allow him to be Batman forever. One day, he's going to have to hang up the cape and bat ears. And then what? Who will protect Gotham?

"Master Wayne, I'll burn the villains down."

Shortly after he heals from his injuries, Bruce could attend a large circus that has come to the city. He's a philanthropist, so maybe the circus could be raising money for one of his charities. Anyway, during one of the acts, there is a terrible accident and two of the trapeze artists are killed-- and accident that their son, Dick Grayson miraculously survives. But Bruce is Batman. He sees that it was no accident and that the act was sabotaged. (A mob boss was trying to extort money from the circus by killing off it's performers. Hell, maybe that's why Bruce is there: to catch him in the act.)

So the mob boss sends his henchmen after Dick outside the circus tent to finish the job, and BAM! He gets saved by Batman. Bruce, who can relate to this boy losing his parents at a young age, takes him in.

The eyes of  a man that cares.

So, the rest of the movie would consist of Bruce training Dick to be Robin and the two of them eventually defeating Bane together. Then the movie could close on the idea that, yes, Batman can't be Batman forever, but now there is someone to take his place when he his gone. All of a sudden, the series doesn't end with "Batman saves the day again, and will continue to do so indefinitely. Possibly until the end of time." Instead, this movie has closure.

And that, my friends, is a movie that I would watch.